A Dieting We'll Go, A Dieting We'll go..hihothe derry O...

I did something today that made me feel pretty good about myself. I went and visited a dietician at the hospital to get a weight loss plan. I had to got to my doctor yesterday to find out the results of my cancer screening (everything ok...wooohooo!). I decided to ask her to refer me to a dietician. Doc really wanted me to go to the local Weight Watchers meeting but 1) I'm not comfortable doing that; and 2) ours has turned into a social gathering of senior citizens who meet and go out to eat at the local mexican restaurant. Umm...that's how I gained this weight in the first place.

The meeting was great with the dietician. She understood that I don't like water and let me have some power over that. I really enjoyed talking with her and even shared that I was doing this blog thing to keep myself 'honest'. She thought it was a great idea and is going to recommend it to others.

I haven't been to the Y this week. Spent the weekend trying to get my house clean and spent one night with my parents (hunky went out of town, so the boys and I go to their house for some extra time with them). I did see my nephew and niece this weekend also (my brother and sis-in-law too ;-) It's neat to watch my niece playing with my boys because they are so much older than her but she gets right in there and they really enjoy that. It's kind of bittersweet to watch them playing with her and remember the times when they were that small but I know that they are happy and well-adjusted, so I have to give them room to grow into their own 'adultness' (is that a word?).

I do have some bad news though. E can't go to the Y with me anymore. Back in September, he hurt his knee during hockey practice and we finally got him into rehab therapy for it. The therapist doesn't want him doing any type of lifting or overusing the knee for awhile. She's got him going to the hospital 3 times a week now to work with her. Good thing we have great insurance. Remind me to give hunky a huge hug when he gets home.

I feel committed to this whole thing. I did lose another pound but I know that I could have lost more if I would have worked a little harder. My Sis-in-Law (Bethany) has been losing weight also. She and I have emailed each other some this past week. We're going to try and do some weight loss stuff together. That'll be fun...and it'll be nice to have someone to keep me honest ;-)

I gotta run now...I need to go choke down a thing of water and plan out what I'm going to buy at the grocery store. Believe it or not...I'm actually excited about going to the grocery store because I am in control now. That is until I have to scamper off to find a restroom.*sigh*

My life as a HOCKEY mom...

I actually went to the Y today...by myself! Huge, huge thing for me. I did the treadmill for 20 minutes, the bike for 10 minutes and then did a lot of weight lifting (yes...I added weight this time). It felt good...I think I'm getting the hang of it. It was really empty when I got there, so I just hopped onto the treadmill and went for it...I even jogged *gasp*. Yep, that was me, jogging away and feeling good about it...until this bony, stick thin woman showed up and started using the eliptical trainer like it was attacking her. I know her from several social encounters and the fact that her hubby owns one of the local car dealerships. She has a beautiful face and hair to die for...but she looks sick. Not sick in the "flu" sense but as in the "starving to be pretty and accepted sense". Does she really think that she is healthy? It's sad...

She reminds me of the HOCKEY moms that I see a lot. I capitalize the word "hockey" for a reason. These women have no other reason to exist but to look beautiful, skinny, drive outrageous cars and be arm candy for their sugar daddies. They popped out the required child, popped them into a private, boarding school and then started popping dietary pills to help them loose that godawful child birthing fat. They are so worried that their sugar daddies will leave them for someone younger and prettier that they make themselves ugly to the core. Snobbery is alive and well in the world of youth hockey. E came home one time from a practice and mentioned that one of his teammate's mom had called him a "hick". Now I know we live in a tiny town but come on...a hick? I asked E what he had said to her. He just grinned that smile of his and told her that she had better be careful what she said...or he'd date her daughter. I just sat and laughed.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm proud of my appearance but I don't spend hours getting ready and making sure my lipstick matches my outfit. First off, I chew on my lips when I'm nervous, so lipstick isn't gonna stay put. Second off, I do good to remember that my lipstick needs to match my outfit. I just don't put a lot of stock into my looks getting me by in life. I would rather be known as the hockey mom who remembered to wish all the boys a good game, as the one who gave them a hug after a hard loss, and as the one that E and A have as a mom.

Am I trying to lose weight...youbetcha! Why...because I want to be healthy and here for my family. Not to impress anyone...except myself! Sounds like a plan...

Water, water everywhere...ick

Remember how I told you how much I hate drinking water..weeeeelll, I found this cool website that can calculate how much water you need to drink everyday to keep yourself hydrated and fit. They've got this cool little hydration calculator and you plug in your weight, excerise routine and it pops out how much water you need. Now I had always heard 8-8 ounce glasses of water (which is 64 ounces in a day) is enough....ummm...not according to this (sadistic) calculator. I typed in my weight (I put down 180 since I'm not so sure on that 8 pounds that were lost due to a broken scale) and that I exercise 60 minutes and medium level. That blankety-blank thing popped up that I needed 108 ounces!!!!! Hello...I do good to choke down one glass. *sigh* If you would like to become totally depressed about your water consumption just visit this site: http://www.bottledwater.org/public/hydratio_main.htm

Of course it is sponsored by the bottled water association, so they are going to push their product. Anyway, by this time tomorrow I will be a) in the bathroom, b) wearing diapers to contain myself, or...c) drowning.

Here's to you!

Me...in 1880s period dress while at an event in Iowa last year.

Weird things with food...

The one thing good about dieting is that you get to do weird things with food. When I say weird, I mean like having a soda capful of tuna salad, a smidgeon of cheese and a thimble full of strawberries. That's eating healthy...isn't it? I've been very careful about how much I eat this week...pretty proud of myself. It's been over a week since I had a soda...now that's a milestone. I can tell some difference in my body (could be my imagination also).

I didn't go to the Y this morning...seem to be slacking off on that already. BUT I did go for a great walk with E and A to the public library and post office. Not sure how far that is...hmm...I think it was probably only 1/2 mile but the weather is great and I did get out and about. I did pop into our local quilt shop which also houses the JCPenney catalog place and a cute little ice cream parlor. They had the catalog for free (which is a deal!). I got home with it and circled all the clothes that I wanted to buy when I got skinny again. I tore some of them out and put them on the refrigerator...that made me really feel good. I feel pretty committed by now...I just need to remember to stay focused and remember that I am in control of myself.

I'm going to "town" next week. Hunky has to go out of town for business and the boys and I are going to stop by my college so I can pick up my books for the classes I enrolled in this summer. Then I'll pop into the fabric store to see what they have in stock. I love to sew. Hunky and I belong to a re-enactment group that concentrates on the 1880s western timeframe. We have 20 people that we do things with and last year, we purchased a chuckwagon and hire out for meals and skits. It's a lot of fun but hard work. I make a lot of the costumes everyone wears and all of the shirts for the guys. Lots of fun...lots of work...lots of great friends.

I enrolled in two classes this summer. A speech class and a math class for elementary teachers. Have to have both of them to continue towards my certification. Most people get really nervous speaking in public but I'm fine with it. After years of speaking to Army families about their benefits and working with children; I have no problems. The math on the other hand....hmm...I hate math. Always have, always will. Had to take algebra I twice in high school to understand it. Didn't need too but knew I would need to understand it before I went to college, so I convinced my high school to let me give up a study hall to sit in math class again. Sure glad I did that. Did I tell you about how supportive my kids and hunky have been with me going back to school? They have been wonderful. I go from 5:30-10:00 and it's an hour drive both ways...so essentially I'm gone almost 7 hours twice a week. The boys even brag on me about going back to college. E helps me with my homework (the kid is a genius) and A loves to come a snuggle next to me as I read my textbook. I have a great family...so very lucky.

I'm feeling nostalgic right now. Not sure if it is the weather...or lack of food ;0)

Another goal is set!! I'm on a roll....

Well, I just finished cleaning out my closet...wow! I had a lot of clothes that shrunk over the past year. hmm... Goodwill is going to make out like a bandit. Hunky said that if I wanted too I could buy new clothes with some of our tax rebate. I just haven't done it yet because I want to loose the extra weight and then I'll be able to buy prettier things. Have you ever noticed that when you get fat...the clothes get bigger and uglier? Yep, it's true.

I made a new goal for my clothes though. I want to fit into a size 8 again. That would be a major accomplishment. I'm currently a size 12 (in stretchy material things). I have a lot of size 10 in my closet but nothing in size 8 anymore. It would be great to be able to go get an entire new closet full of clothes for school next year. I LOVE Christopher & Banks and Coldwater Creek. Now don't get me wrong, I would rather shove hot pokers into my eyeballs versus go to the mall...I'm not what you call a fashionista but I am rather pumped to be able to treat myself and my new body to some fun when/if I loose the weight. That's my new goal...a closet full of new, fun, exciting, THIN clothes for the upcoming school year. Gosh, that's two goals I've set for myself...I'm on a roll!

Speaking of rolls, I'm really craving one. Hmm...that isn't good. I've heard the dieting advice of don't ignore a craving because it'll end up dooming you but then again, if it isn't good for me...I shouldn't eat it, right? As you know, I've totally cut off sodas (Had a major caffeine headache for two days...ick). I'm slowly drinking my dreaded water..haven't quite gotten up to the 64 ounces a day and am not holding my breath to get to it either. I do drink water with lemon/lime in it and that helps some. I also drink 1-2 glasses of decaf ice tea to help out. I know it isn't the same but hey! I'm trying. I can tell a difference in some parts of my body and I know that the caffeine wasn't good for me.

Well, I emailed some friends last night to have them come look at my blog. That was a huge accomplishment. I was going to keep it a secret but I'm finding out that I am really needing the support. I also visited some other people's blogs to see what they have accomplished. Wow, those ladies have sure come a long way. I left them a message and invited them to come here to see where I am at. Hope they stop by for quick chat and a cold glass of water. ;0)

@#*F^%*#...grrr...

Alright...I warn you. I am not in a good mood. It all started this morning at about 8:00 a.m. First, I was supposed to get up at 6:30 a.m. and go work out at the Y, but I overslept :0( Then when I did get up...I kept hearing this meowing. I looked all over for my cats but could only find the stuck-up one. The cool one had disappeared. I decided to ignore her for awhile but the meowing got worse. Then here comes E into the house from the backyard. He tells me cool cat is up the tree in the backyard. I'm thinking...umm...what? She's an inside kitty...how'd she become a outside bird? Well, apparently in the middle of the night, she ripped open one of the screens and decided to see how tall the Elm tree is in the backyard...and got stuck.

Yeah, yeah, I know...if they can get up there, they should be able to get down. Doesn't work that way...I figured that out after 2 hours of waiting for her to shut up and get down. I call hunky at work and told him that the cool cat is up the tree. He tells me "leave her" but he must have changed his mind because he came home about 10 minutes later. We called the neighbors to see if they had a long enough ladder and finally got one. By this time, cool cat has gotten louder and neighbors are starting to shut their windows. Anyway, hunky climbs up the ladder and gets ahold of her...btw...did I tell you that she isn't declawed? She decides that he doesn't have a good enough grip on her, so she hangs onto him. He manages to get down the ladder and a couple of bandaids later, he's fine. She on the other hand is totally grounded (hehehe...sorry for the pun).

My entire morning was shot with all the ladder climbing and bandaiding. I did weigh myself though and I lost 2 pounds. That puts me at 170 by my scales at home (I just don't care to remember that they are broken and that I may not have lost 10 pounds total). I have a lot more to come off but I'm doing really good at not having sodas (my #1 enemy). I guess that is something I should be happy about.

What I am not happy about is that cool cat's antics cost me $40 to fix the screen. And she's now eyeballing the other kitchen window...*sigh*

It hurts!

Well, E and I went today to the Y again...not sure why. I hurt! All over. Even places I didn't know you could exercise. So instead of lifting weight (yeah, yeah...I would have added weight this time), I walked on the treadmill for 45 minutes.

There's something for the hardy of heart...the treadmill. You walk up to this huge contraption and push on the power. It will do one of this things:

a) Buck you off when it turns on high,
b) Make you stutter-step until you catch up with it, or
c) Plant your face into the computer board as it decides that you wanted to run...not walk. *sigh*

Anyway, I managed to walk at a pretty good pace (for me) and even added quite a bit of incline. (I just ignored those people who were running next to me up a huge incline...hope their machine bucks them off..HA!). I walked/jogged for the 45 minutes, thinking...this isn't so bad. Then I had to stop. That part was easy, you push stop...and the machine pretty much stops on a dime. I was ready for that. What I wasn't ready for was my legs acting like they were noodles. Hello? I step off the machine to get the wipe-down stuff (remember: Always wipe down the machine when you are finished or the wipe-down police will get you...not to mention that mean little old woman who keeps watching me **shudder**). Sorry...back to the legs. Mine stopped working, they thought they were related to spaghetti!!! I managed to get them pointed in the right direction and go very slowly to the wipe down stuff. By the time I got back to the machine and wiped it down, they started to behave.

E and I decided that it was getting too crowded, so we left. I got home and figured that since I was up and moving (although slowly) I would weed out one of my flowerbeds. I have a cool little stool and got busy. About 30 minutes into it, I had to get up to get some water (notice: no soda)...and found out that I had left my legs back at the YMCA. I couldn't stand. E came out when he heard my meager calls for help (hey! I didn't want the neighbors to know!). He just grinned and helped me up and to my lazyboy. Do you know how many soaps are on now?? Wow!

It hurts...but in a good way... *sigh*

Double Excitement

I have two reasons to be really excited today. 1) School got out and today is my official first day of summer! and 2) I actually went to the YMCA today for the first time.

Now don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my job. I work in a classroom that does multi-tasking sorts of things with elementary children. Our school is 50% free/reduced lunch eligible and is on the skirts of a high crime/poverty ridden area. I love it. If a kid is having a meltdown, needs some extra help, needs a quiet place to calm down, or just needs a hug...they come to me. We completely believe in not sending a child home unless we have a safety issue, instead they spend time in my room. I get to de-fuse them and talk to them about what is going on in their lives. So many of them have other issues that school just isn't one of their top priorities. But...by the time school wraps up...I need the break mentally and physically. This is my re-charging period.

My biggest excitement today was the trip to the Y with E (my oldest son). We had planned to be there at 5:30 a.m. to work out for an hour but we kind of didn't get up until 7:00 a.m. But we did spend an hour working out. I did the trendmill for 35 minutes and some of the weight machines. When the heck did weight machines become so ...ummm...technical?? I couldn't figure out the bike thingy but noticed E had...so I quizzed him on the way home. There should be a "dummy" button on those things...geez...I didn't know that I had to pedal to get the bike to turn on. *sigh*

I did some other machine that looked easy...you sit down and figure out what weight you want to use (that's another thing...how do you figure that out...?). Anyway, you grab this two little grips and push them up...I think it was supposed to work your pecs but still not sure. I did about 20 of them before I realized that I hadn't chosen any weight, so basically I wasn't lifting anything. Kind of embarrassing... I quickly wiped down the machine (that's one of the big rules at the Y, wipe down the machine for the next person...the lady told us at least 30 times when we walked in...wouldn't want the "wipe down police" to get us"). E was doing something with his legs...he has more experience than me because the high school has a weight room.

I did break a small sweat for my first day. It was alright and I did feel good after I left (that may have been relief that no one caught me lifting without the weights on that one machine) but anyway, I figure that I'll do it again...some day. E said we needed to go every other day but I'm not so good at committing to something that I can only do once in awhile. I did go all day without a soda today...now that was an accomplishment for me.

Wonder if I'll be sore tomorrow? Can you get sore from not lifting weight on a weight lifting machine...hmm....

Nothing is private anymore...

I am blushing...I know that you can't tell that but I am. I just got back from my very first "cancer" screening at the local hospital. Ummm...nothing is private anymore. I did find out that I have lost weight though...or maybe my bathroom scales were just wrong the first time I weighed...hmm..

I think I'll go with the "lost weight" theory...that way I keep going. Don't tell anyone ok? I weighed 180 pounds that first time I weighed in my bathroom...now I weigh 172 pounds. That's a total of 8 pounds lost...hmm...that's an awful lot for a week. Hmmm..maybe I better check those scales again? How do you check scales? I mean I can't way on them because I don't know if they are right or not. Should I weigh something I know...and then set it that way? But what if I think I know how much it weighs and it doesn't weigh that...does that mean it's wrong? I'm confused...

I decided to just say I lost 8 pounds, that way I don't have to explain that I don't know how to set my scales. Sounds good, right? Makes me feel a whole lot better also!!

Great...just told my hunky that I lost 8 pounds...he told me that the scale is broken in the bathroom and I needed to get a new one. grrrr....*sigh*

How many diets are out there anyway??

ok, I figured that I would need a lot of help losing this weight...but come on! Have you checked out how many diets there are out there?? I typed in "diets" and had over 200,000 hits. Narrowed it down by typing in "losing weight" but still...wow!

Did you know that you can lose weight eating chocolate?? Honest, there is a diet that you eat chocolate for every meal and you can lose pounds...not to mention teeth. Oops..sorry wasn't supposed to mention that part. There's special food that you can buy...ummm...my grocery bill for 4 people isn't as much as a weeks worth of that kind of food. Eeek. There's also special plans where you eat a certain type of food one week and then another the next week. Do what? I can't even remember what I ate yesterday...let alone plan it out. grrr...

I looked at some of the old "standbys" and decided that I couldn't a) afford it; b) keep up with it; and c) is it just me...or does that food look nasty?? hmm...I decided to instead travel my fat butt over to the local grocery store and buy lots of veggies and fruits (I do really like them and will eat them, provided I can hide them from my kiddos). Did I tell you that I once went to a dietician in the Army (my hunky was in the Army...not me). Yep, right after the birth of our first born, I wanted to lose the extra fluff before he returned from Saudi Arabia. She was a really neat lady and gave me a lot of neat tips. Very supportive and I lost a lot of weight...healthy wise. She always hated the word "diet"...said that the first three letters said it all. (Die for those of you who didn't get it). She gave me a nifty little chart that told me what I could eat during the day and the portion size...but somewhere in all of our moves, I lost it. bummmers. But I remember certain things like mustard is a "free" food...that means I could have it on whatever I wanted (not that I wanted it on everything but...). She also told me that veggies were "free" provided I didn't put anything on them (except for mustard!) or cook them. I guess cooking takes out the good stuff that makes them good for you....dunno. Fruits are not free because your body breaks them down to sugar...but a different kind of sugar than the basic white stuff in your cupboard. Then the biggest thing I remember is drinking that yucky stuff...water. *sigh* These has to be the biggest obstacle for me. Water...yep, that stuff that comes out of the tap in your kitchen. I can't stand it. Never could...never have. And I gotta drink how much?? Do you know what I do for a living (psst...teach?). Drinking water is alright...but the byproduct (bathroom visits) is impossible when you teach. It's not like I can sneak out of the room...by the way, did I mention I teach children with behavior problems. Yeah, I'm gonna turn my back on them.

I'll try...but I ain't promising nuttin' on that water thing. My son offered to let me borrow his Camelback (you know...that thing bike riders and hikers wear that has water in it?). I wonder if I can get it to match my outfits at school...I might even start a new trend...hmm...

I made a goal!!

Ok, so I didn't exactly get my goal set when I thought I would. BUT! I have a very good reason. I went camping with my family this weekend. It was windy and cold but we still enjoyed getting away from our little town.

I thought a lot about what goal I was going to set for myself in the weight loss category. I thought about it while I ate some Krispy Kreme donuts....I thought about it through two Mountain Dews (and a Dr. Pepper)....I thought about it while I was enjoying a frozen Snickers (my favorite). I figured out that I probably felt the best "me" when I weighed in at 145 pounds. That means I have to lose 35 pounds before school starts on August 16, 2006.

You'll be proud of me though...I did re-join the local YMCA and actually went to see what classes they offer. My oldest son, who's 15 years old is going to go with me (We'll just call him E in the future, ok?). He's about 6'1" and about 150 pounds...of course both of my kids play hockey...that's why I'm called Hockey Mom. My youngest son is almost 12 and is skiiiiiinnnyyyy (We'll call him A for short).

I made a decision about 4 years ago to stop working full time and be there 24/7 for my kiddos. I was so torn between my career and my kids and I decided that there was time later when they left the nest for me to have that career I've always wanted. Then I found a job at the school that was right up my alley and the hours fit with my kids schedules. It's really the best of both worlds. Did I tell you that I'm going back to school also? Yep, going to become a teacher...which is kind of funny since that's what a lot of people in my family are. Everyone really wanted me to become a teacher but I just dug in my heels and wasted 4 years on a worthless college degree. Now I have to do it the hard way...sheesh, I really like challenging myself.

Ok, back to the weight issue. 35 pounds?!?! Hmmm...well one way that I can do this is to say goodbye to some of my dearest friends. Ms. Dew, Dr. Pepper and Mr. Snickers. *sigh* Who says it's easy saying goodbye to lifelong friends?? I know I have too though....

E and I are going to get up early each morning and go work out at the YMCA together. He wants to put on some more muscle before hockey season...he gets to play on the Varsity team next year and wants to be a little bigger. A will just sleep in...he's not all that interested in working out. School is out on Thursday and we'll be hitting the gym hard after that...provided I don't hit the snooze button too many times. Someone told me not to weigh myself every day because I might get depressed...so I decided to weigh myself every Monday morning and keep a log of everything I eat. This is starting to sound like a job though...and I really don't want to work fulltime. *sigh* I must be more tired after camping than I thought I would be...kind of grumpy today too. Can you suffer withdrawal from caffeine before you cut it out?? hmm...

Well, wish me luck tomorrow. It'll be my first day on the way to a new me. I'm a little scared if I can make it through the day without my old friends. I'll let you know tomorrow how it went...

My First Thoughts

I'm still not sure when it all happened but I know I have to do something about it. "It" is my weight. I was always the curveous busty teenager. Used to even model swimwear some for local stores. I never weighed much more than 135 even though I'm 5'6". I know I've been gaining some weight but actually kind of liked it. Until last week that is. I was in our bathroom and just kind of stepped over to the scale. What!!!?? I am now 180 pounds! That scale had to be broken. Unfortunately as I was sitting at my desk...a fellow teacher approached me with a picture of myself to sign for someone's scrapbook. That's when it hit me...I am fat.

I stewed on this fact all weekend. I thought about it while I ate my hamburger and fries. I wondered about it while I drank my 3rd Mountain Dew yesterday. Hmmm...how in the heck did I get so fat? Sheesh.

I decided I needed to take action! I needed a support system...I needed a bite of that ice cream cake in the freezer. Ok, I'm going to need to set a goal for myself. I want it to be obtainable...and realistic. I want to be....hmmm....not fat?? That's probably not a good goal. I looked over the ideal weight for my body type. Ohmygoodness! I can't do that!! sheesh...I would have to like...exercise and cut back on my eating. *GULP* (that isn't me gulping as in shock...I was just drinking some of my chocolate milkshake). Anyway, I am officially going to lose weight before the next school year. There...I set a goal! I feel better, I feel free....I feel...hmmm...confused?? I know I need to lose weight but how much?

Ok, I'm very thinly made...you know bonewise. I mean I have very thin wrists and ankles. I have to get specialized watchbands or just not wear a watch because things slip all the way to by elbows. I'm 5'6" and oh yeah...just hit another milestone in my life..the big 4-0. I have been pregnant 4 times but have two children (that's a story in itself). I don't play any sports (does chauffering children to/from activities count as a sport). I spend most of my time during the day teaching elementary aged children who have behavioral problems how to behave in the real world of school. I walk lots during the day and have been known to benchpress small uncooperative children. I did join the YMCA awhile ago...just cannot seem to find my way there yet.

What is my realistic, obtainable weight goal? Hmmm...I better think on this...right after I get back from Taco Bell. I'll let you know tomorrow what I came up with.