How many diets are out there anyway??

ok, I figured that I would need a lot of help losing this weight...but come on! Have you checked out how many diets there are out there?? I typed in "diets" and had over 200,000 hits. Narrowed it down by typing in "losing weight" but still...wow!

Did you know that you can lose weight eating chocolate?? Honest, there is a diet that you eat chocolate for every meal and you can lose pounds...not to mention teeth. Oops..sorry wasn't supposed to mention that part. There's special food that you can buy...ummm...my grocery bill for 4 people isn't as much as a weeks worth of that kind of food. Eeek. There's also special plans where you eat a certain type of food one week and then another the next week. Do what? I can't even remember what I ate yesterday...let alone plan it out. grrr...

I looked at some of the old "standbys" and decided that I couldn't a) afford it; b) keep up with it; and c) is it just me...or does that food look nasty?? hmm...I decided to instead travel my fat butt over to the local grocery store and buy lots of veggies and fruits (I do really like them and will eat them, provided I can hide them from my kiddos). Did I tell you that I once went to a dietician in the Army (my hunky was in the Army...not me). Yep, right after the birth of our first born, I wanted to lose the extra fluff before he returned from Saudi Arabia. She was a really neat lady and gave me a lot of neat tips. Very supportive and I lost a lot of weight...healthy wise. She always hated the word "diet"...said that the first three letters said it all. (Die for those of you who didn't get it). She gave me a nifty little chart that told me what I could eat during the day and the portion size...but somewhere in all of our moves, I lost it. bummmers. But I remember certain things like mustard is a "free" food...that means I could have it on whatever I wanted (not that I wanted it on everything but...). She also told me that veggies were "free" provided I didn't put anything on them (except for mustard!) or cook them. I guess cooking takes out the good stuff that makes them good for you....dunno. Fruits are not free because your body breaks them down to sugar...but a different kind of sugar than the basic white stuff in your cupboard. Then the biggest thing I remember is drinking that yucky stuff...water. *sigh* These has to be the biggest obstacle for me. Water...yep, that stuff that comes out of the tap in your kitchen. I can't stand it. Never could...never have. And I gotta drink how much?? Do you know what I do for a living (psst...teach?). Drinking water is alright...but the byproduct (bathroom visits) is impossible when you teach. It's not like I can sneak out of the room...by the way, did I mention I teach children with behavior problems. Yeah, I'm gonna turn my back on them.

I'll try...but I ain't promising nuttin' on that water thing. My son offered to let me borrow his Camelback (you know...that thing bike riders and hikers wear that has water in it?). I wonder if I can get it to match my outfits at school...I might even start a new trend...hmm...